Archive for the 'whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity' Category

yes, godammit, there will be plenty more hockey posts in the next few weeks…

Posted in Night Ops, fuck you you fucking fucks, thee's stanley cup minute, open thread motherfuckers!, not even remotely related to fly fishing, Lucky Hat, something for the smart kids, see, i am not fucking kidding, no, we're not worthy, spicy polish!, stuff fly fishermen love, Dirty Hippies, Near Death In Real Life, You Won't Find This Shit On The Fly Fishing Rabbi, Sunrises And Sunsets, Lazy Ass YouTube Posting, Us vs. Them, Revelry, Flotsam, Old Timey As Hayul, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, Of Marginal Importance, Laser Awesomnality on May 16th, 2009 by thee

this seems to be in super reduced ultra drunk-o-vision, but it still pretty cool…

and…

blackhawks_icegirls_goof_ladies_gentlemen.jpg

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all rivers descend: 53 or 54 fragments and aphorisms re. fyshing with an angle

Posted in something for the smart kids, Bits that may become a book, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, You Won't Find This Shit On The Fly Fishing Rabbi, Old Timey Woodcut on May 11th, 2009 by thee

21282river-trout-japanese-wood-cut-print-posters.jpg

Caveat lector: fly fishing aphorisms make no sense whatever. An aphorism is a shotgun blast, a broken thought, a fragmented something or other. Fly fishing rambles on and on and on…

Mean? How can fly fishing mean anything? Do the rocks? Does the water? Any meaning radiates from the angler. Like throwing a handful of salt into the stream.

Inasmuch as the sun interrupts continuous night, these streams trespass across the earth, owning mere slips of territory, if any at all. It’s laughable, really.

The graceful, striving feral.

The stuttering, benighted pure.

Oh no! We have dematerialized! Fly fishing is now rivers of electrons flowing through ether. Soon we needn’t even bother getting our hands wet.

Enjoy thy stream, O harmless fish;
And when an angler for his dish,
Through gluttony’s vile sin,
Attempts, the wretch, to pull thee out,
God give thee strength, O gentle trout,
To pull the rascal in!
~John Wolcot

Dalliant. Evermost. Headlong. Fecund.

Jim Harrison: The head is a cloud anchor which the feet must follow.

Trout are not neither regal or noble. They are however vicious. A beautiful, efficient viciousness.

Vicious? Being owed nothing. Expecting nothing.

“A puncher’s chance”

Yes, vicious, but trout seem always to aspire to something more: more brawn, more ferocity, more guile — yet settle upon the subtle sheen of an arty reticence.

Unapproachable.

Proust: We must perish, but we have as hostages these divine captives who will share our fate. And death in their company is somehow less bitter, less inglorious, perhaps even less probable. “
…Willing to rise to the bait until “Less probable” !

Forget it. You cannot reinvent fly fishing. You cannot reinvent the nature of the fish. You cannot reinvent this joyous, hideous connection. We mumble some thanks to no real god for that connection, curse ourselves for doing so,  but still marvel: it is something.

The nature of the thing — the margins; the eddies; so close to the slack water. So close to the steep, steep drop off.

Silly. Fly fishing always seems more about the fly fisherman than the fish. Luckily, the fish do not give a fuck.

The guide who rowed for Dick Cheney.

Hope, the most gorgeous utterance in our language, defines our stumble- bumble lot.

Faith. Our rusting shackle, paints us in clown colors.

A slump buster’s mantra: “It ain’t like hell — it wont last forever.”

Damn you. Tamper your own enthusiasm? And do it willfully? Techniques that lead to negation yet serve to amplify your sense of… what is it? Suffering? Righteousness, Entitlement? Please Lord, no further trespassing upon our souls…

Still, those moments when glory surrounds.

Issac Walton digested 99 percent of everything he caught. Easily.

Ditto G.E.M. Skues.

And I do mean everything.

We are forced to stoicism… forced to zen… staring at that fucking knot.

When fishing, our other vices unfurl and march forth with such grace and sophistication. Oh! Every sense in bloom!

Who said life is fleeting? Did they fish?

Not to mention Hemingway.

No, don’t tell me that. Fish can’t possibly be your enemy.

And Teddy Roosevelt.

You were furious when you missed that fish? I am torn between admiration and pity.

Good Lord, let us once and for all refrain from defiling the river by calling it “sacred” or “holy”. It remains a blood sport, after all. It’s the blood that’s sacred.

Primitive? We can’t even scratch the surface. But there we go, off to our woodsy theater again.

Impermanant.

How quickly the color drains from a fish you’ve killed. How the scales tip almost imperceptibly up and away from the skin when the rigor sets the flesh. How many ways we perceive death when we ourselves deal it.

“Blessings upon all that hate contention, and love quietnesse, and vertue, and Angling.”  Izaak Walton said that. Our fishing souls, Ike, need no soothing. Our dozens of other souls… well…

Too proud. There is no such animal as luck, son. No fisherman really believes in such a beast.

Butcher, lift your thumb from the scale: Those who lie about their fishing. Those who we only suspect are lying. Our own lies.

Have we finally killed the formality? The pretense? The preening? Lordy, I hope there is but a thin smear of that blood upon my waders.

“To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day…”
Yes, Shakespeare, but we hold the key to this confounded lock! We have a secret passage! And our creep, creep, creeping deals death, too.

Call yourself whatever you wish, but one only becomes a fisherman when one almost dies upon the stream (drowning, heatstroke, snakebite) and then returns to it once again, happily. There should be some sort of badge for that.

A fisherman’s vanity: Gloriously fugitive; sniffing that matted, stinking mass of fur, bones, and teeth rotting in that fetid, muddy ditch. Ammonia, death, piss, history. Civilization, resting comfortably.

That vest, those old boots, that tin of worthless and rusted flies. We can’t throw them away. They have battled with us.  Our heroism held in tiny boxes, smelling of mud and cold.

Forced to be alone with ourselves. Who do we confront? Can we fish together?

In fishing, we can finally stop talking. We don’t have to talk. Silence is golden.

Desire is the inconvenience of its object. Lourdes isn’t Lourdes if you live in Lourdes.
–Don Patterson said that.

Do we come close to boredom or do we, instead, glimpse the giddy nothingness… all of that glorious nothingness? A fisherman doesn’t really need to think about it.

Siddartha in waders.

Set your watch by the tides. Better yet, chuck that fucker into the drink.

“Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it; but while I drink I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. Its thin current slides away, but eternity remains,” so claimed Henry David Thoreau

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Cougar Bait- Camp Hijinks at Burning Pram VI

Posted in whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, Night Ops, joke, cheap coyote tricks, BWTF Seal Of Approval, Ridiculously Brilliant, Lazy Ass YouTube Posting, Near Death In Real Life, Revelry, Laser Awesomnality on February 11th, 2009 by Salty

Somethings in life are annoying, while some things are mildly amusing. Watching someone get pranked with a live mount cougar is fuggin hilarious

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Happy New America Day!

Posted in open thread motherfuckers!, uppity mountain hippy extravaganza, History Lesson Part 1, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, Dead Freemasons Kicking Ass, Dirty Hippies, Revelry, BWTF Seal Of Approval, Laser Awesomnality on January 19th, 2009 by thee

The people are the only legitimate fountain of power, and it is from them that the constitutional charter, under which the several branches of government hold their power, is derived.
–James Madison

american_flag.jpg

America is a willingness of the heart.
–F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Wherein a Buster Founding Father Bravely Proffers his Visage for Caption Contest #47

Posted in clearing out the memory card, Sad Clowns, Aboogadaboogada, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, Utterly Ridiculous, You Won't Find This Shit On The Fly Fishing Rabbi, Dirty Hippies, Stuffing Removal on December 2nd, 2008 by Smithhammer

 Veritably rife with potential. Have at it, Stains.

ImageShack

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american children = total fucking pansies

Posted in whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, happy holidays, not even remotely related to fly fishing, Sad Clowns, A Retort, fill that freezer, Absolute Horseshit, All that is way fucking wrong, Us vs. Them, Revelry, You Won't Find This Shit On The Fly Fishing Rabbi on October 30th, 2008 by thee

it has come to this… kids don’t even trick or treat anymore. the last coupla years here… nada… nothing… a few brave souls have marched to my door, braved the tibetan kyoto monk death chant/hell rattle blasting from my speakers that, i admit, sounds really effing devilish, and faced my howling dogs and my zombie ass for the only currency children are capable of understanding: candy.

and yet there it is. free candy. all you want. for the taking. but here? now? not unless it’s slid under the bedroom door so’s not to disturb the next game of halo. halo? do you punks really think that’s badass? fuck. when we were kids, ya know what we did for fun? we stole our dad’s .22s, shoplifted a box of ammo and shot at all the dead dogs floating down the detroit river. you hit a bloated floater and the thing would explode like a depth charge. and halloween? when i was a kid, halloween was a gotdam combat sport. multiple pillowcases of candy belonged only to the strong, the fearless and the quick. if you were none of those, you best travel in a pack, twerp.

and what of the night before halloween — devil’s night. it simply does not exist. where will today’s american children experience the unalloyed joy of retribution, revenge and arson? oh… that’s right. they’re at fucking soccer practice. SOCCER!

you little wanna be whole food gangstas — jordan, brieanna and gage — yeah, i’m looking at yuo. i am also well aware that you’ve never thrown a punch, shoplifted or stolen dad’s booze. so consider this fair warning: there is candy on 36th street, but you gotta earn it.

punks.

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wherein you sacrifice 2:50 to the gods of comedy

Posted in Old Timey As Hayul, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, stuff fly fishermen love, Real Heroes of Fly Fishing, Cast and Blast, History Lesson Part 1, BWTF Seal Of Approval, Ridiculously Brilliant, Eat This Jim Harrison, Lazy Ass YouTube Posting, Dead Animal Meals, adolescent innuendo, Revelry, Laser Awesomnality on September 3rd, 2008 by thee

for years I have relied on the “go back and get yr big brother” line, but had — tragically — forgotten its source. after viewing this, i feel whole again.

*hilite: curly’s “fly fishing” scene

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There are heroes among us

Posted in Fish Local, Why do we make this so complicated?, Real Heroes of Fly Fishing, fun gals, BWTF Seal Of Approval, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, gotta be a place for this on July 19th, 2008 by creeklover

Actual conversation that took place last week between two friends of mine:

Buddy #1 - “Hey bro, I’ve checked the flights and I’m having a difficult time finding a ticket and nothing is under $800.”

Buddy #2 - “Shit man, don’t worry about it.”

Buddy #1 - “You sure man? You’re not gonna be pissed?”

Buddy #2 - “Hell no! It’s just a damn wedding. Espescially if it keeps you from making a trip back over here to catch a game or go fishing.”

Buddy #1 - “What about your bride?”

Buddy #2 - She’ll be cool with it. Besides, she knows we have LSU, Tennessee, and Georgia all home this year. She’s cool. Just make sure you get over here for at least 2-3 ballgames and some fishing.”

40 DAYS TILL COLLEGE FOOTBALL KICKS OFF

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stuff fly fishermen love #10: not fishing

Posted in stuff fly fishermen love, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, Smartassery on July 8th, 2008 by thee

things fly fishermen love

Man, we were going along so good there for a while… “stuff fly fishermen love“. It was too good to be true — funny, easy to write, it soothed the irritated blogger’s bean with all its limitless possibility — aye… we could ride SFL for quite some time. Before you could decide whether to shit or go blind, there we were: nine whole columns of “stuff fly fishermen love”. It was shaping up to be a new classic. Looking back at that particularly groovy run one thing comes to the fore: we weren’t really fishing all that much. O! What a joy it was, all that time and no real reason to fish — rivers blown to within an inch of their adjectival banks, crap weather, darkness 21 outta 24 hours of the day. What is thee angler to do?

Rejoice!

Truth be told, many anglers don’t really enjoy fishing all that much. True! There are many, many other things certain anglers would rather do other than fishing. These activities include, but are not limited to:

* Posting remarkably banal horseshit on “fly fishing bulletin boards”.
* Getting into remarkably idiotic pissing matches on “fly fishing bulletin boards”
* Admiring one’s own remarkable taste, intelligence, wit, prose and cutting ironic wit on “fly fishing bulletin boards”.
* Tying an endless variety of minute variations on the same fly. Soliciting credit for “inspiration”, “creativity”, “technical know-how”.
* Drinking
* Bitterness
* Sex tours in third world hideaways
* Repairing/sabotaging intimate relationships
* Various forms of self abuse too sad, desperate and vile to be cataloged herein
* Bitching: topics to numerous to merit cataloging herein

The lesson? While many fly fishermen actually enjoy the occasional bout of fishing, there are many, many “expert”, “lifelong” fishermen who simply do not. These are invariably the smartest, most accomplished and most elite anglers you could meet in a day. Do not attempt to discern a non-fly fisherman from an actual fly fisherman as the no-fishers are black belted in the darker arts of bullshit, deception, and half-truths. In truth and in fact, it is best to approach any fly angler with trepidation, not because they may deceive on the nature of their quarry, but on the very nature of their avocation itself. Sad. Very, sad indeed, but yet a burden of lies, damn lies, horseshit, deception, puffery, balderdash and idiocy anglers have shouldered for centuries upon centuries. This shall not change.

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what? no ron jaworski?

Posted in not even remotely related to fly fishing, spicy polish!, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, BWTF Seal Of Approval on May 5th, 2008 by thee

that’s a big sausage right there
It’s finally been posted: the ten greatest Polish American athletes OF ALL TIMES! As a Polak, I am gushing… (oh… and that’s a pic of the world’s largest kielbasa.)

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extractive industries: a lesson in corporate responsibility

Posted in admit it -- it sucks, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, All that is way fucking wrong, Absolute Horseshit, Orwellian Clownshow, Foes, Politics on February 26th, 2008 by thee

exxon valdez

On March 24, 1989, the Exxon Valdez tanker ship spilled close to 11 million gallons of crude oil into Prince William Sound. According to Wikipedia,

“Both the long and short-term effects of the oil spill have been studied comprehensively. Thousands of animals died immediately; the best estimates include 250,000–500,000 seabirds, 2,800–5,000 sea otters, approximately 12 river otters, 300 harbour seals, 250 bald eagles, and 22 orcas, as well as the destruction of billions of salmon and herring eggs… the effects of the spill continue to be felt today. Overall reductions in population have been seen in various ocean animals, including stunted growth in pink salmon populations. Sea otters and ducks also showed higher death rates in following years, partially because they ingested prey from contaminated soil and from ingestion of oil residues on hair due to grooming. Almost 15 years after the spill, a team of scientists at the University of North Carolina found that the effects are lasting far longer than expected. The team estimates some shoreline habitats may take up to 30 years to recover. ExxonMobil denies any concerns over this, stating that they anticipated a remaining fraction that they assert will not cause any long-term ecological impacts”

So, after polluting up to 300 miles of pristine shoreline, Exxon was sued in Federal court and ordered to pay 5 billion dollars. They appealed. And today, a mere 19 years later, the case is still in court — the Supreme Court — with Exxon attempting to weasel out of the now $2.5 billion owed to fishermen, landowners, businesses, communities and Native Alaskans harmed by the 1989 Valdez oil spill. That’s what is meant, I guess, by corporate responsibility.

Now excuse me while I puke.

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curley goes to aberdeen — 169% hilarity

Posted in BWTF Seal Of Approval, Accoutrements Collectibles And Antiquities, whein thee issues yet another morsel of profundity, Ridiculously Brilliant, Gone fishin', Lazy Ass YouTube Posting, Eat This Jim Harrison, Dead Animal Meals, Laser Awesomnality on February 14th, 2008 by thee

no, it ain’t youtube friday yet (at least not on the left coast) — so i ain’t gonna waste this SOLID GOLD AMERICAN GUFFAW — on that scrapheap of unadulterated hippy horseshit. press play, my friends, and get in touch wiff yr inner baboon.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, there is “fishing content”…  or  something like it…
yr welcome…

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